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I’ve fallen in love with the friend who saved my life | Dear Mariella

Jan 2nd, 2018 by

Mariella Frostrup tells a boy of 16 to bide his time before declaring his love to the girl who helped him through depression

The dilemma I am a 16-year-old boy and have been struggling with anxiety and depression, for which I have sought counselling and support. In my darkest moments, a friend of mine has been there for me unwaveringly and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say she has saved my life. My dilemma is that I have fallen in love with her. I would love to tell her, but haven’t been able to because I worry that if she has to tell me she doesn’t feel the same, her help and support will go – and that is something I can’t lose at the moment. She has so far responded with amazing support to everything I have disclosed to her, but I am still very torn as to whether or not to speak to her.

Mariella replies Thanks for writing. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles but so pleased that you have sought professional help and are on the mend. Aren’t you the lucky one to have a friend who’s been so supportive and kind? Mates like her certainly don’t grow on trees. Yours is an example of how, at their best, platonic relationships between men and women are a beautifully balanced combination of yin and yang. We grow up expecting romance or adversity between the sexes, but in a brave new liberated world we should perhaps be celebrating how friendship is the best bridge for crossing our behavioural divides.

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